Life is Short
They say, “life is short,” and, generally, I agree, but a short life can still be made up of long years. This past year was an exceptionally long one, and I was fortunate. What was long for some became eternal for those less lucky. For me, it has been a year of reflection and change, of trying new things while my brain clung to the comfort of years past. Still, I struggle to drive a wedge between my desires to progress and simultaneously retreat to the life I lived before. Admittedly, I have failed to make much progress on Suppervise throughout the pandemic year. On the surface, it seemed a perfect time to buckle down and get to work, but life often has other plans. Days sprinted by as the year slowed to a crawl. That is not to say no progress was made overall, just not on this project.
I did manage to start another business. I opened an Etsy shop to sell custom video game accessories that I acquire from a Chinese supplier, and I provide a service to replace these parts for customers. I am nearing a year on this venture, and though sales were proving difficult for me to keep up a few months ago, they too have slowed to a toddler stroll. I presume there is a decreasing interest in DIY indoor activities as the weather becomes more pleasant. One thing the past eight months have taught me is that I do not wish to spend all my days packing things up. It feels wasteful of time, and time is precious. I intended to hire that portion of the business out, and even signed an agreement with a fulfillment provider, but with sales dropping off and the fact that labelling every individual item takes just as long, I decided it might be best to just pivot away from my Etsy business. Unfortunately, I had a shipping issue in mid-spring where my parts were held up at Customs, and I decided to order a full set of replacements, so now I have far more inventory than I would like, and it might be a while before I am able to leave the business entirely. A friend of mine suggested contacting a competitor and proposing a sale of the entire operation, and though I think he has a good point, I am not certain I have the will to invest much more into this business if it means time taken away from other more important ventures.
Beyond opening my Etsy shop, I also managed to get hired at an autonomous driving company to build simulations for their autonomous vehicles. I spent an arduous eleven months searching for a job, but it eventually provided me a source of health benefits just a day after I was set to lose my parents’. I enjoy the job, and the people I work with are equal parts kind and intelligent. For the first few months, I was so proud to tell people what I do. However, now six months into my year-long contract, I am questioning whether I hope to renew for a second year, despite both my business advisor and real estate agent desiring two years in the industry. Eight-hour workdays are tough, I do not know how people manage it. There are so many other things I want to do with my time. I just finished coaching track this past spring at my old high school, and this job required me to wake up at 4:45 to get eight hours in before practice. Not to mention, working at my computer is not nearly as rewarding as coaching high school students in a sport that I love. It is a shame track only pays a tenth what my day job does. That is not all though, I also like to stay in shape myself, and the workday forced me to give up going to the gym, one of the things I enjoy most. I used to spend hours lifting weights, and I have been either too drained or too involved to fit it into my schedule. My mix of working, coaching, and running my Etsy shop has left me little time to work toward my goals for the future, and it has given me a lot to think about.
I have been talking to my friends these past few months, and we all agree how great it would be to make a living in motorsports. This is a dream I sold to one of them in high school. My plan was always to start a rally team, and he was going to be my driver. I never wanted him to have to work a real job, and, in my head, I promised him I would make it happen. Fast forward to now, he has been an accountant for 5 years, and I find myself in a position wondering what the hell went wrong. Like I said, life has other plans. But one thing I like to remind myself is, “I’m not dead yet,” and for as long as that remains the case, there is still a chance that we can make our dream come true. Seriously, we live in a world where Viners can box undefeated champions and streamers can find themselves on The Daily Show and the cover of Sports Illustrated Magazine. All around me there are people living their dreams. To strive for anything less than that for myself seems wasteful and purposeless. Which brings me back to the conversations I have been having with my friends. I have gotten their buy in to start a media company focused on motorsports and racing, and the mission is to enjoy life and bring as many people along for the ride as I can. However, I have not given up on my desire to make the world a better place. Suppervise is still a huge part of my vision for the future. My full mission is to have fun with life and save the world on the side. Both are crucial, and I have enough ego to believe that not only are they both possible, but I can be the guy to do them.
So where does that leave us? Like I said, it has been a year since I have made progress on my dreams, and we do not get do overs on years. I have always had big plans for myself, and I need to put my time where my mouth is, for time is far more valuable than money. I am starting to rethink my next steps for Suppervise, as I am not certain that I am the best person to be building this application, but I will expand on my new plans in future posts. What is most important now is that I am making this a public decree that I will not get stuck in the tar of everyday life and allow it to keep me from the things I enjoy doing and the things I still hope to do. I have big plans for myself, to not act is to flirt with regret.
